Time Warp…

for the sixth time in seven games the 2003 Detroit Tigers have taken the field and the results have been eerily similar, they’re 1-6.

I’ve reprinted the evidence below.  All rights reserved.

  • Horrible pitching
  • Shitty defense
  • Untimely hitting

Perhaps Brad Ausmus can fix the flux capacitor and have the 1984 Tigers show up in Oakland tonight.

“God I love baseball.” Roy Hobbs | The Natural


The Tigers lost their fifth of their last six games and looked like a complete and utter pile of shit doing it. This game was a national embarrassment.

For 3 and 2/3 Freeway Ricky looked like the pitcher I thought he was. Then he completely fell apart and fell in line with the rest of his his rotation mates their last time through, save Sanchez.

Add to the the 2003-esq pitching, horrible defense, terrible base running and a tad bit of bad luck and you have the elements of this afternoon’s game.  The Tigers BLEW!!!!

To Torii Hunter: Nobody thinks your stupid deke moves are cute.  Get your head out of your old, bald, fat ass and run down balls in the outfield.  You JACKASS!!!!!

To the officials scorer: Explain how Austin Jackson wasn’t charged with an error in the sixth inning. Please.  I don’t give a shit how far he had to run for Moreland’s ball, he caught up with it, the ball was chest high and it hit him in the glove.  THAT IS A AN ERROR!!!!!!!  JACKASS!!!!!!

I’m glad I didn’t make it to the ballpark for this one.

“God I love baseball.” Roy Hobbs | The Natural

Much Better…

The Tigers got great starting pitching and timely hitting and halted their four game losing streak by beating the Rangers 7-2.

Anibal went seven innings and was very good.  He allowed only two runs on five hits, struck out five and walked zero.

Ian Krol pitched a scoreless ninth but he doesn’t make me feel comfortable.  I can’t put my finger on it, and his line looks good, but I get an odd feeling when he toes the slab.

The Good News:

Freeway Rick is pitching tomorrow’s game.

The Bad News:

I can’t go.  I’m still having back problems and can’t sit upright long enough to make it through the game.

Such is Life.

I’m expecting Ricky to be smokin balls tomorrow afternoon.

“God I love baseball.” -Roy Hobbs | The Natural

Don’t look now…

but the Tigers have lost four in a row and that vaunted pitching staff is getting beaten into a conniption by teams that were struggling offensively.  What is it with Tigers pitching that allows struggling offensive teams to get healthy?  Remember the San Diego series in April?

Here’s another astute observation, the Tigers don’t have a shortstop.

The only highlight of this afternoons 9-2 loss to the Rangers was that Danny Worth may have found a way to stay in the big leagues.  He can throw a knuckle ball and pitched a scoreless ninth inning and struck out two.

There’s not much more to say.  The Rangers took the Tigers out behind the woodshed.

Let’s hope the losing streak stops at four.


“God I love baseball.” -Roy Hobbs | The Natural

Sweep Complete…

Indians 11 Tigers 10.

The Tigers lost this game because their entire pitching staff was abominable today with one exception.

For regular readers you know that I recently read Bob Feller’s Little Black Book of Baseball.  The thing I found most interesting in the book was that Rapid Robert said the only pitching statistic that mattered was WINS.

When you look at baseball, or any other sport, The Heater From Van Meter is spot on.  At the end of the year the only thing most fans care about is did their team win.

Applying that thought pattern to today’s game my abominable exception from today’s Tigers pitching performance is Max Scherzer.  His line looks horrible.  He gave up seven earned runs on 12 hits, two walks and five strikeouts.  But he found a way to last seven complete and when he left the game he and the Tigers had a chance to win.  If he had any help from his friends in the pen, the sweep would have been avoided.

After the game Mickey sent me a text asking why Phil Coke is still on the team.  I don’t have an answer.  Can anybody help me out?

Tomorrow is a new day.  The game is another afternoon start at home against the Rangers.


“God I love baseball.” -Roy Hobbs | The Natural


Indians 6 Tigers 2

Ok, so, that 1984 euphoric feeling is fading just a little.  What bothered me most about tonight’s game was JV.  He’s the Tigers Ace.  And we needed him to be a stopper tonight.  After a rough outing from Smyly last night, the Tigers needed seven strong innings from JV but didn’t even get a quality start.

What makes this more troubling is this is JV’s third non-quality start in a row.

The offense doesn’t get a free pass for tonight either.  They squandered chances to cash in runs mostly by grounding into three double plays.

So, eight games in to the road trip, the Tigers are 6-2, not bad, but avoiding a sweep tomorrow afternoon would go a long way to regaining the warm and fuzzies.

Also, I thought the strike zone was an abomination for both pitchers.  Before Verlander even took the mound I was complaining to Nebraska that home plate umpire, Gabe Morales, was squeezing Trevor Bauer.

Let’s hope Max can be the stopper.

“God I love baseball.” -Roy Hobbs | The Natural